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Twelve Tips to be Valentines for Keeps


I woke up this morning in a philosophical mindset about 36 years of marriage. I asked my husband if he had any advice for couples on Valentine’s Day. What ensued was a back and forth conversation of what has sustained us. I’m positive we could have gone on all morning but listed below are our twelve tips to be Valentines for keeps:

  1. Communicate. Grow together and know together. If you know something you don’t like, work through it.

  2. Figure out what speaks love to your partner and speak it! If it’s like a foreign language to you, learn it and try harder. Love languages really do matter.

  3. On Valentine’s Day you don’t have to ask, “Will you be mine,” because you already know that she or he is yours. Don’t ask for what you already have but speak confidently about your relationship.

  4. If you feel the urge to complain about your spouse, take it to God first. A little chat with the Lord may change your perspective if you’ll let it.

  5. Attitude leads to altitude; greater respect, greater love, greater appreciation and greater determination to work things out.

  6. Learn to laugh at things that could offend you. Laughter can cut offense off at the knees.

  7. Have fun as much as possible. Laugh out loud because laughter is like medicine to your marriage. (See Proverbs 17:22)

  8. Always tell the truth. Honesty paves the path for lasting fidelity, faithfulness, and trust.

  9. Be the first to repent when there’s a dent. Just say you’re sorry and mean it.

  10. Hit the pause button. Pause before you vent, argue, or complain. Count to ten or one hundred. Walk around the block. Ask for a time out before hitting the hard discussions. Give each other time to think.

  11. Happiness isn’t a remedy it is a result.

  12. Marriage isn’t a 50-50 venture. It’s a 100%, All-in, all the time kind of adventure. If both people give it all they’ve got, they’ll be Valentines for Keeps.

Are you curious about who gave which pieces of advice? All the odd numbered items came from my husband and the even numbered ones from me.


This list should have been prefaced with the ultimate game-changer for our marriage though. It was both of us coming into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and wanting to love like He loves. All the tips above are more possible to us because with have tried to live our life with Jesus as our inspiration. We are definitely still in process but love one another beyond our natural ability because of our relationship with the Lord.


Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

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