Does anyone else stuff your disappointment down inside so far that you can barely see it anymore? I know some people are good at expressing their disappointments quickly. Others may be like me. I do not have time for disappointment or discouragement, and I don’t want to complain. I have too much going on in my life to entertain those feelings. It just slows me down and impedes my progress. The only problem is that feelings stuffed down inside will eventually work their way back up to the surface.
I was praying one morning recently, and I felt like the Lord took a bright yellow highlighter and pushed it down into my heart saying, “Let’s deal with THIS.” I immediately knew what THIS was. I confessed all my disappointment and discouragement to the Lord and ended up in tears as my STUFFING came out. The whole time I could sense the Lord saying, “I already know what is in there but you need to tell Me about it so we can deal with it together.”
After talking to the Lord about it all, I put my hands out and said, “Here Lord, I’m giving all of this to You.” In that moment I sensed the Lord saying, “Are you sure you’re not going to take it back?” That made me laugh. See, God knows our personalities and tendencies very well. I assured Him that I was trying my best to give it all to Him and not take it back, then I asked for the exchange. You know the great exchange we get as followers of Christ, but in this case, it was about an exchange for releasing disappointment. The Lord assured me that if I would release my disappointment and discouragement to Him, He would exchange it for clarity. I will take that exchange any day. One and done, right? Well…
The next morning after I had finished worshipping along with my favorite YouTube worship group, I checked to see if they had any recent videos out. The one I found was profound. It was a Korean-English version of Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing by AGAPAO Worship. I am not normally one for hymns, but by the middle of the song I was in tears. I had to listen a few times because something in it was stirring my heart so deeply. And there, in the midst of that worship song, with my hands held out to the Lord, that same disappointment tried to return. How dare it interrupt the beautiful worship! The good news is that during worship we can often deal with things more quickly. Continuing in worship with my hands stretched out to the Lord, I thought, “Lord, here is the disappointment. I am giving it to you again and grabbing ahold of the promise of clarity.” I tossed that disappointment like a hot potato. It was so quick that I barely skipped a beat in worship. The day before, the Lord had already offered me the exchange, so I did not have to pray about it again. I just grabbed on to it and kept singing. Honestly, I have been grabbing ahold of the promise of clarity daily. I have received some, but am believing for more.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:6 (NKJV)
This verse from Proverbs works in so many instances. Acknowledge Him when you are stuffing things in. Acknowledge Him when you know you are resisting dealing with the stuff. Acknowledge Him when you are ready to unpack it all. Acknowledge Him when it still does not make sense. He will lead us through it all if we just let Him. Whatever you are up against, don’t stuff disappointments down inside. Invite the Lord into the stuff, He is always ready and willing to help. If you still do not feel clarity or relief, the verse before Proverbs 3:6 may help.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
Sometimes we just need to lean! Lean on the Lord because our own understanding falls so short of the answers we need. It can be painful to be without answers or understanding, but in those moments, we need to trust that God’s love will carry us. Just don’t stuff disappointments down inside. Share them with the Lord, and with friends who will let you vent, cry, or complain, but will then point you to Jesus who will love you through it all. Jesus loves us right in the middle of all our stuff. Let Him lead you in unpacking it little by little, or all at once. Just let Him in!
Note: If you want to hear the song I mentioned, here is the link. Just listen to it whether you understand Korean or not, because by the time it is fully in English, your heart may be stirred as well. https://youtu.be/M3ilFpRlEp4?si=olKKCePWaE1Mi9Kq
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